I've heard so much about this book but I never gave it a chance because I figured it didnt apply to me but instead to older women. However, I was sent a pdf file and I passed it along to a few twitter people and after Rissa tweeted me last night I decided to start reading it today and I have not stopped!
woman can truly be completely satisfied is to get herself four
different men—an old one, an ugly one, a Mandingo, and a gay
guy. Now the four of them combined? They got you covered.
The old man—he’ll sit around the house with you, spend his
pension check on you, hug you, hold you, give you comfort,
and won’t expect any sex from you because, well, he can’t get
it up no way. From him, you get financial security. The ugly
one? He’ll go above and beyond the call of duty to help you
out: he’ll take the kids to their lessons after school, run you
down to the grocery store, wash the car on the weekends,
babysit the cat—whatever you need, he’ll provide it because
he’s just happy someone as beautiful as you is paying him any
kind of attention. From him, you get “me time.” He frees you
up to do all the things you need time to do. And then there’s
the Mandingo man. You need a big ol’ Mandingo man. You
know what you gonna get from him. He’s big, he’s not that
smart, can’t hold a good conversation, got muscles popping out
from his eyebrows to his pinkie toe and when you see him, you
know he’s going to put your back out. That’s all you want from
him, and he makes sure he gives it to you real good. Mind-
blowing sex—that’s what you get from Mandingo. And then
you need a gay guy—someone you can go shopping with, who
doesn’t want anything from you but gossip and details about
what the old man bought you, which errands you sent the ugly
guy to take care of, and exactly how Mandingo had you doing
monkey flips for a week. See, the gay guy gives you all the
conversation you need (smile).
Four guys, supplying each of your needs should bring you
happiness. I say should because for women, happiness isn’t guaranteed."
On opening up -
Communicating, nurturing, listening to problems, and trying
to understand them without any obligation to fix them is simply
not what boys are raised to do. We don’t let them cry, we don’t
ask them how they feel about anything, we don’t encourage
them to express themselves in any meaningful way beyond
showing how “manly” they are. Let a little boy fall off his bike
and scrape his knee—see how fast everyone tells him to get up
and shake it off and stop all that doggone crying. “Be a man,” we demand.
There’s no discussion about how he felt when he
hit the ground—nobody’s asking him to talk about whether
he’s too scared to get back on the bike and try again. Our auto-
matic response is to tell him to get over it, get back on the bike,
and figure out how to ride it so he doesn’t fall again.
Now that he’s grown and in a relationship, you expect that
same boy who was told to keep quiet and keep it moving to be
a man who can sit and listen and communicate and nurture?